What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 01:42
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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Make Nazis afraid again!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
How did you as a human being change while growing up?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
TEXT:
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.